Dominican Me

Good morning and happy Tuesday kids, I hope that wherever your seat is located on your ride on this crazy rock spinning at 1,040 mph called earth, you are enjoying yourself to the fullest no matter what. For everyone’s sake, just make sure that you hold down your vomit, until you get off the ride.

On a you are not Dominican because… note. Even though on October 19, 1969, I was born in Santo Domingo, The Capital of The Dominican Republic, to Dominican Parents. For years, I have been told by family, friends and even strangers, that I’m not Dominican, that I’m American. You try to figure that shit out. To be honest, it used to bother the living shit out of me, but now, I just have fun with it.

You see, I have been living in The United States of America since the age of 3, which comes up to a total of 47 years. So, everything that I know about my birth country, I have learned from family, friends, other Dominicans, TV and the Internet. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I kind of understand that most Dominicans don’t see me as being Dominican because…

  1. I wasn’t raised in the country.
  2. I don’t know much about the country and its history.
  3. I’ve been told that I don’t have a Dominican accent.
  4. I don’t eat some of the food that Dominicans eat.
  5. I rarely use Dominican slang.
  6. I, as Dominicans put it, like “American music”.
  7. I assimilate and relate to American culture more than Dominican culture.
  8. I really suck at dancing Dominican music.
  9. I only watch Englishlanguage television stations.

Wanna know something even funnier. Back in July of 2019, While in The Dominican Republic on vacation, having a conversation with my wife of 30+ years, she said “I’m from here, you are not”. Knowing my sense of humor, that was a BIG MISTAKE! on her part, because now, every time that I want to mess with her mind, I use what I call the “Remember?… I’m not Dominican” excuse and explanation. LMFAO!

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Hump, Hump Awaaay!

Good morning and happy hump day my homies and homettes. I hope that whatever time zone you are in, in this crazy rock traveling at 67,000 mph around the sun, you have, are, or will be enjoying your day to the fullest.

Always remember, that no matter how hard shit gets, you can always use a laxative… or even better, a scented enema. But make sure that it is an organic enema, because you sure don’t want to get in trouble with them people… You know… “The Green Police”.

With that said… I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Crazy Busy Weekend

OK my homies and homettes, yesterday was a crazy and hectic day for me, but it was worth it and fun, because I spent the entire day with my better half. The whole day, we were driving around from one store to the next, shopping for different things.

Then after taking a nap for a few hours, we got dressed and went out for dinner, to celebrate that we started dating on October 2nd back in the mid 80’s. Even though I’m not a gambler, but my wife is, after dinner, we drove to The Empire City Casino and got home around 2:00 am. Just to let my loyal 1.5 readers know not to worry, I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol the entire weekend, because I was way too fucking busy to even think about that shit. WOO-HOO!