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Good morning and happy hump day boys and girls, as always, I hope that you have a great day. Remember, enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

As for me? I’m back at the salt mines for another day of hard labor. Today I’m on the dreaded phones, but like they say, it is what it is. Plus, it beats pushing up daisies or being unemployed at 50. LMFAO! Unlike some people, I just love throwing my age out there. Yes, I’m 50 and proud of it. Other than that, I’m chillin like a villain.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Dominican Me

Good morning and happy Tuesday kids, I hope that wherever your seat is located on your ride on this crazy rock spinning at 1,040 mph called earth, you are enjoying yourself to the fullest no matter what. For everyone’s sake, just make sure that you hold down your vomit, until you get off the ride.

On a you are not Dominican because… note. Even though on October 19, 1969, I was born in Santo Domingo, The Capital of The Dominican Republic, to Dominican Parents. For years, I have been told by family, friends and even strangers, that I’m not Dominican, that I’m American. You try to figure that shit out. To be honest, it used to bother the living shit out of me, but now, I just have fun with it.

You see, I have been living in The United States of America since the age of 3, which comes up to a total of 47 years. So, everything that I know about my birth country, I have learned from family, friends, other Dominicans, TV and the Internet. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I kind of understand that most Dominicans don’t see me as being Dominican because…

  1. I wasn’t raised in the country.
  2. I don’t know much about the country and its history.
  3. I’ve been told that I don’t have a Dominican accent.
  4. I don’t eat some of the food that Dominicans eat.
  5. I rarely use Dominican slang.
  6. I, as Dominicans put it, like “American music”.
  7. I assimilate and relate to American culture more than Dominican culture.
  8. I really suck at dancing Dominican music.
  9. I only watch Englishlanguage television stations.

Wanna know something even funnier. Back in July of 2019, While in The Dominican Republic on vacation, having a conversation with my wife of 30+ years, she said “I’m from here, you are not”. Knowing my sense of humor, that was a BIG MISTAKE! on her part, because now, every time that I want to mess with her mind, I use what I call the “Remember?… I’m not Dominican” excuse and explanation. LMFAO!

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Back To The Salt Mines

Good morning and happy Monday boys and girls. I know! I know! I know! IT’S MONDAY… AGAIN!… what the hell is there to be happy about? Well, tell that to those who are pushing up daisies. Anyways, I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest and remember, that a smile can make someone’s day.

As for me, I’m heading on out to the salt mines to put in my 8 hours of hard labor and deal with anything that is thrown my way. Other than that, I should be chilling like a villain.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

This Is 50

OK my homies and homettes, as you might know, due to the lost of my wife’s paternal youngest sister in The Dominican Republic, my family and I didn’t have a big party for my 50th birthday, back on October 19th, we went out for dinner and had a good time. The thing is, that my family and friends didn’t forget and so last night, they surprised me at my daughter’s housewarming party.

YES! YES! YES! And YES! La Jefa, aka The Boss Lady, aka The Wife, aka My Wife, knowing that I’m a weekend binge drinker, did give me permission to have a couple of beers, which I truly enjoyed. The thing is, that I had a lot of fun, BUT… I didn’t overdo it. Once I got home, I ate some food and went straight to bed, I didn’t binge drink and I didn’t continue my drinking this morning. Which is my biggest problem with my weekend drinking.

To be honest, today I don’t have a hangover, which is great, because I’m able to help my wife do a few things that need to be done around the apartment, with no problem. Plus I’m looking forward to going to the salt mines on Monday, without a hangover.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

50 For 50!

Good morning and happy Saturday boys and girls, I am happy to say, that I am 50 years old and today I have been alcohol-free for 50 days, yes, 50 days. I still can’t use the word sober, because I associate it with someone that will never drink again, and since I’m a human being who is full of fucked up flaws, I can’t say what tomorrow will bring.

Later in the evening, my wife and I are traveling to our daughter’s apartment in The Bronx, because family and friends are gathering for dinner and a good time. There will be drinking going on, but no worries kids, drinking is not in the horizon for me. As a matter of fact, I feel that as the days have turned into weeks, I don’t think about drinking much. I’ve had a couple of stinking thinking along the way, but nothing to be concerned about.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Tony “Tone” Vega Beer Money Foundation

OK my homies and homettes, I don’t want to come across as an asshole, a dick or even a motherfucker, but trust me when I tell you, that living in New York City for 41 years and working and paying taxes for 33, has taught me a lot about not helping others. AGAIN! Don’t look at me as an asshole, a dick or a motherfucker… YET! … hear me out first. Then you can throw your shit at me.

Anybody that uses public transportation here in New York City, specially the train, knows that there’s not one day that goes by, that they will not encounter someone asking for money. My problem??? That the shit is getting old! It’s at a point, that most of them are using the same fucking lame excuses.

For example, the veteran, now a days everybody and their mother is a veteran. The person who lost everything to a fire, if I was to keep count, the entire city should have been burned to the grown. The one who is trying to get back home… Why did you leave your home in the first place??? And my favorite one, and trust me, you are sure gonna get a kick out of this one… The person who needs money to travel around the country… REALLY??? REALLY MOTHERFUCKER?

So, now that I got the real scammers out of your way boys and girls, would you be so kind as to visit my GoFundMe page and donate for a good cause… My beer money!

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Hump, Hump Awaaay!

Good morning and happy hump day my homies and homettes. I hope that whatever time zone you are in, in this crazy rock traveling at 67,000 mph around the sun, you have, are, or will be enjoying your day to the fullest.

Always remember, that no matter how hard shit gets, you can always use a laxative… or even better, a scented enema. But make sure that it is an organic enema, because you sure don’t want to get in trouble with them people… You know… “The Green Police”.

With that said… I am Audi 5000 y’all!