Shit I Say

  • If you don’t have shit to do, then don’t do it here.
  • If you don’t know what the fuck you are doing. Then don’t tell me how to do it.
  • If you’ve never done my job, how the fuck will you know when I’m doing it wrong?
  • Life is simple. It’s all about common sense.
  • The world is not your giant personal babysitter. You must teach your children how to grow up to be independent and responsible adults. Not grown ass babies.
  • I’m not in the cleaning business, that’s why I don’t clean up other people’s shit.
  • No matter how hard shit gets, you can always use a laxative… or even better, a scented enema.
  • If it looks, smells, feels and tastes like shit… Then IT IS SHIT!
  • It doesn’t matter if I sugarcoat it, put sprinkles and a cherry on top of it. It still shit.
  • I’m not crazy. I just can’t find something productive to do.

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