Alcohol And My Age

Good morning and happy Tuesday kids. I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest, no matter what goes down. 

As for me? I’m just getting ready to start my eight hours of hard labor… OK, OK, OK, OK, I’m just fucking with you. If everything goes as schedule, which most of the times doesn’t, it should be a nice day at the salt mines. Fingers crossed. 

On a weekend note! I’m just dying to start my four-day Thanksgiving weekend tomorrow, after I leave the salt mines. But no worries kids, I’m not planning on drinking for shit. After my last weekend fucked up hangover experience, trust me I learned a big ass lesson. 

Ever since around my mid 40’s, I’ve been noticing, that even though I have been drinking the same amount of alcohol on the weekends as always, the hangovers have been kind of like lasting longer or getting worst. As a matter of fact, I thought that it was all in my head, so I did some research about it, and found out that hangovers do get worst with age, because our metabolism is slowing down, so it takes our body longer to eliminate alcohol from our blood. 

My conclusion? That I’m and old man and I have to stop the weekend drinking bullshit once and for all. I guess that instead of drinking on the weekends, I should start going to the senior center for fun.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

The Stop Drinking Pill

Good morning and happy Thursday kids. I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest and remember, a mind is a terrible thing to waste. Don’t believe me? Just look around at the smartphone zombies… Now that is some scary shit right there.

As for me? Yesterday I had my November session with my shrink, and he was not very happy with me. OK, this is the deal. He was OK with me drinking on my 50th birthday, but he wasn’t OK with me drinking last Saturday night… even though I didn’t binge like I usually do. So, we had a long discussion, and we decided that I should go on a med, that will help me with my drinking. As a matter of fact, I had a thing happening on Saturday, so that means that I won’t be attending, because there is going to be some drinking going on, and I know myself.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

The Celebrity Mental Illness Bullshit

Good morning and Happy Sunday kids. I hope that even though most of you, just like me, hate Sundays because it means that we are heading on back to the salt mines tomorrow, enjoy your day to the fullest.

As for me? I’ve been trying to figure this one out. How can a celebrity that keeps fucking up time and time again. Gets arrested driving drunk or high multiple times. Gets diagnosed with a mental illness overnight. Goes to rehab before his/her next court hearing. Then suddenly, is a mental health advocate with thousands of supporters? Meanwhile, people like you and I, who have been dealing with mental illness for most of our lives, are left to fend on our own? I mean, really? I don’t get it.

QUESTION: If you have to unnecessarily spend $100.00 to save $10.00, did you actually save anything?

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Quality Family Time

OK my homies and homettes, yesterday, my wife and kids made sure that I was busy like a motherfucker the whole day. As a matter of fact, I left home at around 10:00 am and didn’t get back until around 7:30 pm. Don’t get me wrong now, I did enjoy the quality time with my wife and kids to the fullest, and I would never change that for anything in the world.

Another positive that came out of being busy was, that I didn’t have time to think about doing any weekend binge drinking. As a matter of fact, my peeps, I almost forgot to mention, that today is my 44th alcohol-free day… WOO-HOO my motherfuckers! Since I’ve never clicked with AA, my shrink wants me to look for another stupid program, in order to stay “sober”, but to be honest, I’m doing just fine on my own.

With that said… I am Audi 5000 y’all!

A Fucked Up Hangover

Good morning and happy Monday kids. I hope that you are enjoy your day to the fullest.

As for me? I did drink on Friday night, so on Saturday, I felt like shit the entire day, from a really fucked up hangover. So, to be honest, that is that for my drinking.  I really can’t deal with the hangovers anymore. As a matter of fact, since I hit my mid 40’s, I’ve noticed that I’ve been hating the hangovers more and more. So, for my Thanksgiving weekend, I’m just chilling like a villain. No fucking drinking for me.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

The Big Five O!

Knowing my fucked up sense of humor… My daughter got me this!

OK my homies and homettes, even though I know that you don’t give a flying fuck, I’m still gonna say it… Today I’m celebrating my 50th birthday… and yes, my dick still gets hard without the assistance of any erectile dysfunction medication or penis pump . Don’t believe me? Just ask my sexually happy wife.

Anyways my peeps, up to the time that I sat down on my bed, in my birthday suit, to write this boring, crazy, stupid and weird post of mine… with the shopping and everything else in between, my day has been the same as every other Saturday. Except that this evening, I’m planning on going out for dinner with The Boss Lady (my wife).

As of right now, right now! I’m not planning on doing any drinking tonight, but hey, I’m one motherfucking crazy man with a lot of fucked up issues, and because of that, shit can change in a sec. So, AGAIN!… I’m celebrating my 50th birthday, and if you don’t want to lose your hard-earned cash, don’t bet on me. I know I wouldn’t!

Excuse Me! Your Monkey Is On My Back!

Happy Friday my homies and homettes. Depending in which part of this boring, crazy, insane and weird planet of ours you are located, I hope that you have enjoyed, are enjoying or are about to enjoy it to the fullest. Remember, don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

As for me, I don’t have any special plans for the beginning of my crazy weekend. But as usual, I’m just getting ready to head on out to the salt mines for a day of hard labor. The only difference to Monday through Thursday is, that I technically get paid today. The fucked up part of it is, that the direct deposit won’t hit my bank account until around 2:00 am Saturday morning. So that only means one thing, that there won’t be any drinking for YOUR pesky monkey on my back and I, until we could drive to the bank at the break of dawn. (Hey, in today’s society, we don’t blame ourselves, we blame others for our fuck ups).