After The Salt Mines

Good morning and TGIF kids. I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest. Remember, we are just a few hours away from starting our weekend. So don’t let no asshole fuck it up for you no matter what happens… Learn to just walk away… Just walk… away. 

As for me? I’m just up to my usual, putting in 8 hours of hard labor at the salt mines. Then when everything is said and done, I’ll run home like a crazy person, get naked, put on my pink Speedo and pink flip flops, rub butter all over my body and run around the apartment yelling out… “I’M FREE! I’M FREE! I’M FREE!”. LMMFAO! I bet you madafakas would love to see that shit. But guess what? It ain’t happening, because when I get home, I’m just going to be chilling like a villain. 

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Our Fur Baby Is Back Home

OK my homies and homettes, I am happy to say, that yesterday my wife and I picked up our fur baby Nino from the Animal hospital in downtown Manhattan. The entire family is very happy, because after the surgery to remove some stones from his bladder and urethra took place on Tuesday, he has been doing great.

Five years ago, when Nino was given to us, he was only six months old and it was only a few weeks after we lost our first fur baby to cancer. But the one characteristic about Nino, that has always stuck out is, that he is a warrior. So, I know that in a few days he will be back to being himself again.

With that said… I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Toilet Submarines

OK my homies and homettes, even though yesterday I was off from the salt mines due to the Columbus Day holiday, a contractor was sent to our apartment to fix an over a decade old bathroom leak. The fucked-up shit is, that all these years, we have been telling the building management office, that the leak is coming from one of the apartments above us, because from time to time, we can hear the water drops falling on some metal shit inside the walls… but do they listen? HELL FUCKING NO!

So, if within the next week or so, you notice that my blog posts are giving off some weird and funky smell, like dirty ass or old cheese doodles… or better yet… wet dirty feet, then you know the why. One last very very very unimportant thing. The person in charge of the job, told us, that it will take about a week for them to complete the job, and I believe him, because everything was absolutely being replaced in the bathroom. Plus, after they finish with the bathroom, they are doing the entire kitchen floor.

So, being the BFF’s that YOU, my loyal 1.5 readers are… When the time comes, because trust me, God knows that it will… Will you be willing to say, “mi bathroom es su bathroom”, so I can take a big fat stinky shit in your bathroom and walk away without even taking the time to flush, leaving behind all those toilet submarines floating in your toilet? But before you answer that, keep in mind, that that’s what BFF’s are for, to take each other’s shit.

Always make sure my homies and homettes, that if life gives you lemons, you throw them at people, so you can have a good laugh when you see them running like crazy.