I’m No Spring Chicken

Good morning and happy hump day kids! I’m still feeling the pain, from all the fun that I had on Monday, but the truth is, that it was all worth it. As a matter of fact, I have come to accept that I am 51 years old and turning 52 in a 6 days, and also that I’m not the same active person that I was up to my mid twenties, so when I do some strenuous activities, I will always pay the price.

As to my drinking? Even though I have an app that keeps track of my days without drinking, I really haven’t been looking at it much, because my problem with drinking is only on the weekends and only when I get really bored, other than that I DON’T HAVE TO DRINK. But just to put it out there, today is my 15th day without drinking and I feel fucking great… WOO-HOO!

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Why? Why? Why?

Good morning and TGIF kids! 

Sometimes I think about this crazy, insane, stupid and weird blog of mine. I mean, what is exactly that am I doing with it? Where am I going with it? What is the whole purpose of it? I tell you, sometimes I ask myself, what the fuck is the point of it all? 

With that said, I am Audi 5000 Y’all! 

Fighting Demons In My Sleep

Good afternoon and happy Thursday Kids! Today is my turn to work from the office, and even though they have me going crazy going up and down the elevator to get mail and documents, I really missed this, since I’ve been working from home since March of 2020.

On a mental state of mind note, as soon as I woke up this morning, I knew that there was something weird going on inside my crazy mind. The thing is, that Iately  I have been on a mental roller-coaster. It’s just crazy and I just can’t quite put my finger on it or understand what the fuck is going on.

Also, for the last couple of weeks, I keep having these crazy nightmares, were either I’m fighting a person or dark demon. I don’t much about nightmares, but I’m thinking that my subconscious is trying to tell me something. The thing is, that it’s been hard to find a new shrink. I also feel sorry for my wife, because due to my nightmares, she has to wake me up, because I’m either crying or fighting in my sleep, and she hasn’t been getting a good night sleep.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y ’all!

I Do It For Me

Good morning and happy Tuesday boys, girls and others, today I am happy and grateful, because I get to enjoy another day with family, friends and love ones.

When I started blogging more than ten years ago, I didn’t do it for fame, money or to get a book deal, because I am not a writer, nor do I want to be. I did it, because I wanted to meet others who like me, were suffering from OCD. Today, aside from my OCD and bipolar II, I am also dealing with my weekend binge drinking problem. 

My point? That I am just using this crazy, insane, stupid and weird blog of mine, to get the crazy shits out of my head and on to something, in order to stay as sane as I possibly can. 

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all! 

The Sober Farmer

Good morning and happy Sunday kids! I am happy to report, that yesterday was the 35th anniversary of the day that my wife and I officially started dating and I had a great sober time with my wife, our kids and a friend of our daughter who took us out for dinner to celebrate at a wonderful restaurant in New Jersey. 

This might sound crazy coming from someone who has lived his entire life in the city. But from a youthful age, I have always enjoyed nature and the outdoors, but was never given the chance to do so, the way that I wanted. But today that is going to change, because my sober weekend plan includes me, doing things that I have always wanted to do and visiting places that I have always wanted to visit. So, to keep my mind busy and stay sober on the weekends, this morning my wife and I plan to take our very first trip to The Queens County farm museum. Yes, it is a real working farm that was started back in 1697. I do not know how the trip it is going to go, but one thing for sure is, that it will keep me from drinking. 

With that said, I am Audi 5000 kids! 

Same Shit, 4th Day

Good morning boys, girls, and others and Yes! Yes! Yes! and… YES!… to most of your dissatisfaction, I am still alive and kicking, LOL, enough with my stupid jokes. But before you take out the world’s smallest violin and I get started with all my bullshit, just like one of the world’s greatest minds once said… Oops I fucked it up again! 

As I write this post, I have a big smile on my face, because even though last weekend I did go on another bender for a couple of days and as usual, it did not end well with my wife and our two adult kids. To make a long and boring ass story short, last Thursday I went to my first AA meeting in months and trust me when I say, that this time was very emotional for me, this time I felt something inside that really moved me and got me thinking about my fuck ups. I was able to connect with all the people who shared.

I guess that what I am trying to say is, that even though I drink on the weekends and I can go without it for months at a time, I am finally accepting that I am an alcoholic and that I can’t and should not drink alcohol for shit. There, I finally said it!

With that said, I am Audi 5000! 

IT IS STILL THE SAME SHIT!

Good morning and happy Monday kids! Remember to enjoy your day to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised or guaranteed.  

On another note, lately I’ve been thinking about people who stop using their drug of choice, only to replace it with another one. The fucked up shit is, that their stupid analogy is, that just because it’s not their drug of choice, it’s OK to use it. 

Correct me if I’m wrong here, but isn’t it true that a drug, is a drug, is a drug? I mean, what the fuck are these people thinking? Do they even have a fucking brain, or just empty space to rent? Aside from their selves, who the fuck do they think they are fooling? I know it’s none of my business, but it does become my business, when some dumbass tries to run that shit through me.

In other words, since my drug of choice is alcohol and I haven’t had a beer in 46 days, should I use weed, crack, coke, pills or heroine instead, since they are not my drugs of choice???

With that said, I am Audi 5000!