After The Salt Mines

Good morning and TGIF kids. I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest. Remember, we are just a few hours away from starting our weekend. So don’t let no asshole fuck it up for you no matter what happens… Learn to just walk away… Just walk… away. 

As for me? I’m just up to my usual, putting in 8 hours of hard labor at the salt mines. Then when everything is said and done, I’ll run home like a crazy person, get naked, put on my pink Speedo and pink flip flops, rub butter all over my body and run around the apartment yelling out… “I’M FREE! I’M FREE! I’M FREE!”. LMMFAO! I bet you madafakas would love to see that shit. But guess what? It ain’t happening, because when I get home, I’m just going to be chilling like a villain. 

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Why You Mad Tho’?

Good morning and TGIF boys and girls. I hope that no matter what goes down, you enjoy your day to the fullest. Remember, life sucks, and then some. Just be grateful that you are still here to read another one of my boring, crazy, stupid and weird blog posts.

As for me? The usual, I’m just getting ready to start a day of hard labor at the salt mines. But hey, what the fuck, at least it pays the bills and gives me a few extra dollars to spend on beer and hookers. LMFAO! You see,that’s the reason why my wife of 33 years gets pissed off at me sometimes… because of my sense of humor.

What I have tried to explain to my wife like a million times is, that at an early age, after my father picked up all his shit and left the family without saying shit and while nobody was at home. After there were times when we didn’t know when our next meal was going to be. After we were broke as broke could be. After I almost went through a nervous breakdown when I was a teenager. I learned to deal with life’s bullshit through humor, specially my self-deprecating sense of humor.

You see, the reason why I’m always saying that life is fucked up and then some, but that it will eventually get better, is because of some of the shit that I have been through. Now, what I try not to do, is live in the past. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes my mind takes me back, but I try not to get stuck there. As a matter of fact, I’m not mad at my past, because things that happen to me in the past, made me who I am today.

QUESTION: If I shake a pregnant hen enough, will she lay scrambled eggs?

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!