Grooming Day

Nino at the vet, waiting to get groomed.

Good afternoon and happy Saturday my homies and homettes. I hope that you are enjoying your day to the fullest. Always keep in mind, that no matter how fucked up life is, eventually it will get better. Plus, nobody gets out alive anyway! So, why go crazy over every little shit that you can’t control?

As for me, I was supposed to get a haircut this morning, but instead, I decided to leave it for tomorrow morning and drive my furry baby Nino to the vet, to get groomed. I know that sometimes I might come across as an asshole, but I always put family first, and my baby Nino is the youngest of them all.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

This Is 50

OK my homies and homettes, as you might know, due to the lost of my wife’s paternal youngest sister in The Dominican Republic, my family and I didn’t have a big party for my 50th birthday, back on October 19th, we went out for dinner and had a good time. The thing is, that my family and friends didn’t forget and so last night, they surprised me at my daughter’s housewarming party.

YES! YES! YES! And YES! La Jefa, aka The Boss Lady, aka The Wife, aka My Wife, knowing that I’m a weekend binge drinker, did give me permission to have a couple of beers, which I truly enjoyed. The thing is, that I had a lot of fun, BUT… I didn’t overdo it. Once I got home, I ate some food and went straight to bed, I didn’t binge drink and I didn’t continue my drinking this morning. Which is my biggest problem with my weekend drinking.

To be honest, today I don’t have a hangover, which is great, because I’m able to help my wife do a few things that need to be done around the apartment, with no problem. Plus I’m looking forward to going to the salt mines on Monday, without a hangover.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Happy Loner

To be lonely and to be a loner, are two different things. You see, even though I have a family and a small group of friends, I am a loner. And trust me, I like it that way. The thing is, that I enjoy, embrace, cherish and like my alone time, because I get to do things that people in my life don’t like or are simply not into. Plus, I get to think, analyze and look at things that are going on in my life, all while not being distracted by all the noise from others.

As a matter of fact, people who don’t know me, might feel sorry for me, because most Saturday and Sunday mornings, they see me at around 7:30 am having breakfast by myself at the local McDonald, while listening to music on my headphones and typing away like a crazy person on my laptop. The thing is, that no matter what others believe or think, every weekend I look forward to having my alone time.

With that said, I am Audi 5000!

Quality Family Time

OK my homies and homettes, yesterday, my wife and kids made sure that I was busy like a motherfucker the whole day. As a matter of fact, I left home at around 10:00 am and didn’t get back until around 7:30 pm. Don’t get me wrong now, I did enjoy the quality time with my wife and kids to the fullest, and I would never change that for anything in the world.

Another positive that came out of being busy was, that I didn’t have time to think about doing any weekend binge drinking. As a matter of fact, my peeps, I almost forgot to mention, that today is my 44th alcohol-free day… WOO-HOO my motherfuckers! Since I’ve never clicked with AA, my shrink wants me to look for another stupid program, in order to stay “sober”, but to be honest, I’m doing just fine on my own.

With that said… I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Fuck Plan B!

OK my homies and homettes, since I had to renew my driver’s license by my birthday… which if you have been putting attention to the past crazy, boring, insane and weird blog posts of mine… is tomorrow, I decided to use my last vacation day today. But as usual, my wife had to throw in a twist to my day off, so we went to buy a toilet at Home depot. But no worries my peeps, I survived to tell another stupid chapter.

To be honest, out of respect to my wife, since she lost her youngest paternal half-sister only a week ago today back in The Dominican Republic, right now, I don’t have any plans to celebrate my 50th birthday tomorrow. I just want to be chilling like a villain and stay home doing shit. But knowing my crazy ass self, shit can turn crazy in a 24-hour period. I’ll see what’s popping by then. I know that YOU… my loyal 1.5 madafakers, don’t give a flying fuck about my stupid life, but I’ll keep you in the loop anyways.

Excuse Me! Your Monkey Is On My Back!

Happy Friday my homies and homettes. Depending in which part of this boring, crazy, insane and weird planet of ours you are located, I hope that you have enjoyed, are enjoying or are about to enjoy it to the fullest. Remember, don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

As for me, I don’t have any special plans for the beginning of my crazy weekend. But as usual, I’m just getting ready to head on out to the salt mines for a day of hard labor. The only difference to Monday through Thursday is, that I technically get paid today. The fucked up part of it is, that the direct deposit won’t hit my bank account until around 2:00 am Saturday morning. So that only means one thing, that there won’t be any drinking for YOUR pesky monkey on my back and I, until we could drive to the bank at the break of dawn. (Hey, in today’s society, we don’t blame ourselves, we blame others for our fuck ups).