Why You Mad Tho’?

Good morning and TGIF boys and girls. I hope that no matter what goes down, you enjoy your day to the fullest. Remember, life sucks, and then some. Just be grateful that you are still here to read another one of my boring, crazy, stupid and weird blog posts.

As for me? The usual, I’m just getting ready to start a day of hard labor at the salt mines. But hey, what the fuck, at least it pays the bills and gives me a few extra dollars to spend on beer and hookers. LMFAO! You see,that’s the reason why my wife of 33 years gets pissed off at me sometimes… because of my sense of humor.

What I have tried to explain to my wife like a million times is, that at an early age, after my father picked up all his shit and left the family without saying shit and while nobody was at home. After there were times when we didn’t know when our next meal was going to be. After we were broke as broke could be. After I almost went through a nervous breakdown when I was a teenager. I learned to deal with life’s bullshit through humor, specially my self-deprecating sense of humor.

You see, the reason why I’m always saying that life is fucked up and then some, but that it will eventually get better, is because of some of the shit that I have been through. Now, what I try not to do, is live in the past. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes my mind takes me back, but I try not to get stuck there. As a matter of fact, I’m not mad at my past, because things that happen to me in the past, made me who I am today.

QUESTION: If I shake a pregnant hen enough, will she lay scrambled eggs?

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

50 For 50!

Good morning and happy Saturday boys and girls, I am happy to say, that I am 50 years old and today I have been alcohol-free for 50 days, yes, 50 days. I still can’t use the word sober, because I associate it with someone that will never drink again, and since I’m a human being who is full of fucked up flaws, I can’t say what tomorrow will bring.

Later in the evening, my wife and I are traveling to our daughter’s apartment in The Bronx, because family and friends are gathering for dinner and a good time. There will be drinking going on, but no worries kids, drinking is not in the horizon for me. As a matter of fact, I feel that as the days have turned into weeks, I don’t think about drinking much. I’ve had a couple of stinking thinking along the way, but nothing to be concerned about.

With that said, I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Happy Saturday my homies and homettes, I hope that you enjoy your day to the fullest. But as always, don’t let no madafacker fuck it up for you, no matter what goes down.

As for your majesty??? Today I am happy to say, that I have been alcohol-free for 1 month and 13 days… OK OK OK OK OK, I’ll do the fucking math for you dumb ass preschool dropout madafakas out there! That’s a total of 43 days!… There, are you fucking happy now? Do you want a tooty fruity scented enema to go with that too?

Anyways, I really don’t know what “The Mother Of My Children”, aka “La Jefa”, aka “The Boss”, aka “The Love Of My life”, aka “The Wife”, aka “My Wife” has planned for me today, so right now right now, the only thing on my agenda is, to drive over to The Bronx and do a favor for “my little 29 year old princess”, aka “My Daughter”.

But like I’ve always said, married men can’t make plans… because their better halves are always there to fuck them up for them.

With that said… I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Cherish Our Family Time

OK my homies and homettes, last night I had a ton of fun celebrating my 50th birthday with my better half, our daughter and our son at a restaurant. To be honest with you, because life is always so hectic here in New York City, I love going out for dinner and spending time with my family. I know, that for many reasons, a lot of families around the city, don’t get to do it very often or even at all. That’s why I enjoy and cherish our family moments for the rest of my life.

My Condolences To My wife

OK my homies and homettes, the sad news is that last night, my wife lost her youngest paternal half sister, who lived in The Dominican Republic. She was in her 30’s and my wife had never met her, until a couple of years ago. They only got to see each other twice for a couple of days at a time, when we went on vacation to our country, but they had a really good relationship for two sisters who met later in life.

As to my wife of 30+ years… I’m supporting here in every way that I can.